The Myth of Being 30 (and things I am thankful for)

It's invevitable.

It is indeed here, my 30th year on earth. Like most single women, I was initially dreading the arrival of this age because of the endless prodding to get married, bear children, and live like the rest of the adult world. Some would attempt to be nice, and instead of prodding will engage me with questions about getting married, having children, and building a family. In my mind though, a 30-year old woman can do other things at this age than that. I don't feel yet the desire to get married and have children. I have plans of my own totally different from these expectations.

Turning 30 is not as dreadful as I imagined though. When the clock struck 12 midnight, announcing the arrival of my third decade, I was with friends in my apartment eating the leftovers from the party the previous night and drinking red wine given to me by a co-worker before. It felt the same as when I turned 20, but I know at the back of my mind that little changes are bound to happen in my life.

Sta. Rosa Celebration

Leftover food, celeb @ Unit 9

Pahinungod Celebration

Before I go deep into philosophizing about the next years and decades of my life, I want to document here the things and people I am thankful for in my 30 years (have you noticed I kept mentioning my age?).

1. I am thankful for the whole 30 years of my life, will all its beauty and ugliness, of bliss and pain, of joy and hurt. Not everyone gets to have this kind of adventurous and exciting life.

2. I am thankful for my mother, father, sisters, and relatives who are just quietly by my side, letting me live my life how I want to live it.

When I was in high school, my mother would always allow me to have sleepovers with my classmates, go out with them on weekends (though she did not know we sometimes cut classes to go to a friend's house or to the mall), or go with them on outings. I still wonder why she allowed me all these things, without fear that I'll get pregnant early or take up alcohol (I did) or drugs (I did not, I swear!). Maybe she had fears, but just did not express it. She let me experience freedom. This proved an important experience for me. My mother gave me a breathing ground to explore and be free.

My father, though he missed most of our growing years having been working in the US, always makes the most sensible pieces of advice and has the most exciting and daring ideas. When I went to US last year to visit him, I realized how, despite the distance and lost years together, we are similar in a lot of ways, particularly in our way of thinking. So how one thinks is also genetic, I thought. It was a surprising revelation for me.  

3. I am thankful for my friends--they are few but they make me feel I have a million back up when I need them. They listen to my crazy ideas, enduring my high-pitched voice and angry-sounding tone though they fully know that I'm not mad. They make time for my random invites, keep silent even when they think I'm in the middle of committing a mistake, fully trusting me that I will realize it soon enough, and be there to hear my rantings. They are also what makes me as a person.

4. I am thankful for the Universe, for all the happy chances it made possible in my life, both in my professional and personal life.

5. I am thankful for my health, and I vow not to abuse my body. 'Everything in moderation' will be my mantra, but the body and mind's limit have to be challenged and pushed to what they are capable to do once in a while--this is still good for the health.

6. Lastly for now, I am thankful for the love I am receiving from this man

 for showing me how love should be experienced, for bending some of his 'rules in life' because he thinks of my happiness first, for thinking of my happiness first before his, for always waking up before me to prepare breakfast, for letting me interrupt his trail of thought while writing just to react on a very trivial thing I said, for taking a break from what he's doing (usually writing) to iron my office clothes insisting that I wear ironed-out clothes even though I don't normally do it, for taking a good 20-minute walk from our apartment to my office to fetch me, and another 30 minutes back (because I slow him down when we walk together) and when we arrive at the house, he is still full of energy to cook dinner, for always churning out delightful meals for dinner, for insisting that we do not go to sleep with guilt and grudges to each other, for tolerating my stubbornness, for understanding my other ways of saying sorry and thank you because I'm not so good with articulating feelings, for saying sorry even though I was really the culprit, for all the late night talks, for singing songs I may not have known without him, for putting my name in his film, for the certainty of the future, for the realization that love defies age because the soul is ageless--and for true love.